Read this Book NOW: Time for God

Ok, ok I am working on posting more regularly again. Lets just hope I think about it at a time (i.e. not driving to work) and place (i.e. not church) when I can actually do it… In my defense I had written a whole other post last week, but after reviewing it I’m not sure if I want to post it. One of the main reasons is that the content is something important and meaningful to me, but looks almost lame and boring just written out on paper (or typed out on a blog). Some things just aren’t meant to be shared. We shall see.

I am reviving an old theme I used when I first started this blog. On the recommendation of the author by my spiritual director I picked up the book Time for God by Rev. Jacques Phillipe. In one sentence, it is a wonderfully simple and wise book about mental prayer.

Of course you are going to get more than one sentence from me!

The subtitle of the book is “a guide to mental prayer” but the author is quick to point out that mental prayer doesn’t have “a method”, meaning that there is not just one set of things one can do and BOOM you can do mental prayer. As someone who sometimes struggles with mental prayer – the kind with just you and God – this was good to read.

The first section is well worth your time and is entitled: Mental prayer is not a technique but a grace. Father then goes on to describe elements and attitudes that are important for mental prayer. One part that was particularly helpful to me was about fidelity and perseverance. He says:

“Someone who sets out on a life of prayer should aim in the first place at fidelity. What matters is not whether our mental prayer is beautiful, or whether it works, or whether it is enriched by deep thoughts and feelings, but whether it is persevering and faithful.”

I think this is really important to understand. As people who strive to be closer to our God and Savior, we can sometimes get worried that we aren’t good enough or doing it right. But that is not the important part. That whole section is quite enlightening.

The other sections are also very interesting. One section deals with how to use time in mental prayer (again, formed on the foundation that there is not “one method”) and another deals with the material conditions for mental prayer (time, place, physical attitudes).

Finally, Father does give some methods of mental prayer. But not in the “do 1, 2, 3 and then you are in ecstasy” type of method. But just some traditional ways of doing mental prayer that one might try. He talks about the rosary, meditation and the Jesus Prayer of the Eastern tradition. While this was interesting, I found that the core of the book was about putting yourself in the right place for prayer and understanding what mental prayer is and is not.

I highly recommend this book, for those starting in a life of mental and those a bot more advanced. It has that simple wisdom that can really be transformative in your life.

Just read the book.

Your sister in Christ,

~K

My Week with the Sisters (finally!)

Ok, I haven’t fallen off the face of the earth! And the 3 of you who read this blog might actually be curious about my week away (and MI has started to harass me about not updating, so here I am!). Well, let me tell you, it was quite interesting! The first few days I spent with the Trinitarians of Mary. I stopped by their small convent in San Diego, but spent the rest of my time in Tecate, Mexico. The monsatery there was beautiful and peaceful, however it was quite clear to me that this was not where God was calling me. I did have the opportunity to attend a Mass in German (with a English homily) and had a lovely Holy Hour led by one of the Sisters. Afterwards I was able to spend some time alone in the adoration chapel, which was quite nice and what I needed.

The second half of the week, however, was much more interesting. After leaving San Diego, I was questioning my vocation. It wasn’t that I all of a sudden had this huge desire for married or single life, but I just didn’t feel any assurance or certainty that religious life was the path either. I have felt pretty strongly for awhile that religious life was the direction God was leading me, but I just didn’t know anymore was a bit distressed. But, I had already planned on going to Santa Rosa (to visit the Marian Sisters of Santa Rosa) and it would have just been silly not to see them as well…

And I am SO glad that I went to Santa Rosa. I immediately felt comfortable and happy to be there. There are only four Sisters in the community, and two had only arrived the week before I got there! But honestly, you never would have known this because their sense of community was so strong. If I had not known better, I would have thought that they had been together for years. It was really quite beautiful to see. We had quite an exciting three days. My first full day there I got to witness the Sisters profess their vows to their bishop, Robert Vasa, in his private chapel! And then we got to have breakfast with His Excellency afterwards… and at one point he grilled me a little about my discernment! But it was kind-hearted and he did have some questions that made me think. The next day I got visit the chancery where one of the Sisters works. I also got to learn a bit more about their role int he Catholic schools and future plans for their community in the diocese. Quite interesting and exciting to see a new community growing, especially with such a strong, supportive bishop. My last day there we attended Mass in the extraordinary form in this cute chapel at resort in wine country of all places! The Mass was said by a Benedictine (I think…) monk whom I also got to meet. Then we went to visit an older couple who have thier own winery and had dinner. It was a very lovely day!

Those are the higlights are of the activities, but I also particpated in the “regular” life of the Sisters. I joined them for prayer (they frequently chant the Office from the Mundelein Psalter – so cool!), Mass, spiritual reading, recreation and meals. As I said before I felt quite comfortable with them. Not 100%, but I was in a completely new environment, so I wouldn’t expect to feel like I fit right in immediately (although I have heard of this happening to others, I just don’t think that everyone will necesarrily experience that.

Now, I was only there for three days, but I had some feelings that I not had before. I found myself wondering if this could be it! There were times when I could see myself as being part of this community. But… yes there is a but… the other half of my time there I was still doubting that I had a religious vocation, wondering about marriage and even thinking about a young man whom I thought was interested in me. There was quite a battle going on in my head and heart!

Since coming home, I am trying to pray for direction. I just want what God wants, but I can be a bit thick-headed and need some help knowing His will so as to try to follow it! I had been wondering if maybe I should step back from such active discernment of religous life and with all of this swirling in my head, I went to talk with my spiritual director. After talking about my experiences and some things that had been going on interiorly (one thing being fear when imagining myself a religious) I mentioned this “stepping back.” And he quickly responded that it probably wasn’t that I needed to step back, but to step up! This may seem simple but it is quite profound to me and my situation. This is not the first time that he has been able to help me gain some clarity when I am so confused. I am so blessed! He als recommended meditating on some stories from Scripture, namely the calling of Phillip and Andrew and the story of the rich, young man in John’s Gospel. The first, is already speaking volumes to me, especially when Our Lord says, “What do you seek?”

Indeed, what do I seek?

Anyways, I need to spend a lot more time in prayer and opening myself up to His holy will. Please pray for me!

Your sister in Christ,

~K

Blessings

So my last post was about a particular blessing and now I am going to write about… more blessings! About a week or so into Lent I was looking at list online of ideas practices and sacrifices for Lent. I had already decided to give up meat, and had added early morning prayer on Thursday and Friday, but I was interested at looking at this list. And then one thing really caught my eye was writing a list of blessings – one for each day in Lent.

Here is the one I made (names changed to protect the innocent!):

I didn’t really approach this with a lot of rules. Mainly just to write some sort of blessing for the day. It could have happened that day or something I realized or appreciated that day. As you can see, there is quite a range. From creating me and dying for me to great laughs with my roommate. Some days it was hard to think of something. Not that there weren’t blessings, but after a long day I wasn’t always ready to think about that. But to take the time to think, write it down and actually thank God for that blessing was a really nice practice.

A friend pointed out that this would be a good practice during the Easter season as well. But really, any time when you want to take a step back and really notice the blessings around you, especially if you tend to forget (like me!). Just pick a set amount of days: a month, the Easter season, summer, etc and give it a try!

Your sister in Christ,

~K

A Blessing on Good Friday

Today I recognized in a new way the blessing it is that my parish has a tabernacle in the middle of the sanctuary. This might seem like an odd thought considering today Jesus is not in the tabernacle! Indeed, the doors are open wide and it is empty…

But therein lies the blessing. Actually seeing that tabernacle open and empty is a powerful point of prayer and meditation. My old church does not have the tabernacle in the sanctuary (and while I wish they would, I feel I should admit that the chapel the tabernacle is in is quite beautiful – in my opinion the most beautiful part of the whole church!), and I think that they are missing out on something really important here. The empty tabernacle reinforces that this time, the Triduum, is different than any other time. We killed Jesus. He suffered and died because of us (of me) and for us (for me) and now lays in the tomb. Yes, we know what happens next, but we still need to remember it all.

The open and empty tabernacle is a reminder of this and more. I have been at the church several times today, and can’t help but notice that tabernacle. The spot where I would usually focus my prayer and adoration has changed. It makes me think and should make me think more. But since my church does have the tabernacle in the center of the sanctuary, I and all the parishioners can have those moments of prayer, meditation, and reminding of what this time is about. It is truly a blessing, even if it hurts a little.

Your sister in Christ,

~K

P.S. Here is a wonderful article about the empty tabernacle.